beginning

It's not without some amount of trepidation that I begin again a public blog.  The initial blog, northwander, hit a wall when my freestyle, fresh-from-college traveling life took a turn for a life more suited to a rookie homemaker whose biggest concern in life is whether to shower first or start the dishwasher.  It also somehow landed me in the palm-ridden coast of south Florida, somewhere I never really had on my list of places to live, nor even visit (my reasoning for this, I've since found, was sound).  Were I a better blogger, this would might have created some excellent fodder for new posts on gluten-free dining options, but the impetus of the blog at its conception had fizzled and my focus began to shift to merely making a life here, something I've found to be both intuitive and a bit of a struggle, as if learning how to exist again.

The need of documenting, the need to put thoughts into visible words, has never really ceased, though.  I'm afraid, sometimes, to call myself a writer, because I'm not actively writing, but there are moments when the thought of being without that description is like removing a part of myself and hiding it under the bed.  It's something intrinsic and real to my nature and I should, really, stop denying it and just do it.

Easier said than done, of course, because the longer you go without, the harder it is to do again.  It's like exercise.  When I do it regularly, I crave it, but the moment I stop, for whatever innocent reason, it becomes harder to start again.

This is my wakeup call, though.  This is my internal personal trainer telling me to get off the couch and just run.

But I'm not writing just for writing's sake, though that is a noble goal.  My reason for returning to the public blogging world is twofold:

• I'm farther from family and friends than ever before and need some outlet to stay connected.
• I've become lax in my writing and need a safe place to empty my mind when a blank word document seems too fearful.

 I want to warn you, dear reader, that this will not be a place for words extensively labored over.  Nor will it be long, nor insightful, nor even especially interesting.  I'm not trying for anything specific.  If an idea strikes me, if an event needs documenting, if I go crazy one weekend and take 300 pictures that I want to share, it will go here.  It may not be pretty, but it will be something, and I hope that with practice, with regularity, my words will start to shape up again.

I have high hopes for this.